We’ve lived on this planet for thirty-five years now, and though we have easily adopted their mannerisms, assumed their practices, and assimilated their languages, we think it’s safe to say there are some things about humans that we will never understand – as sure as Rumyliak has three suns and Gorpin was a grifter. Lately,…
Taylor Swift Exes: “You are never, ever, ever writing another break-up song!” (image: Hollywire) Taylor Swift has achieved fame, success, and respect with the many songs she carefully crafted to get back at her boyfriends. The poor subjects of her hit albums have been insulted, mocked, and blamed for Swift’s heartache. To the world, it…
Well, the Oscars have come and gone and left us all waiting breathlessly (with questions) till next year. Questions like: Who is going to fall? Who is going to kiss? Who is going to get snubbed? Will the snubs get kissed? Will they just combine all of it into one awkward snub-kiss-and-fall-a-thon? Since this royal…
According to a contact of ours that has a very, very close acquaintance that knows people who are “in the know”, those particular people always know what they’re talking about when they talk about things heard from actual friends of celebrities. In other words, we have it on good authority that our source’s hearsay is…
A few dozen scientists from the Institute of Research got together last week to examine a mystery that has confounded some of the brightest minds in our society: the popularity of Jessica Simpson’s fluctuating body weight. This groundbreaking research, though focusing specifically on Ms. Simpson, was expected to shed light on the reason behind the…
LOS ANGELES–Kristen Stewart, actress and star of the popular Twilight series (a documentary closely based on her actual life), has recently confessed to stepping out on her undead beloved, Robert Pattison. According to sources very close to sources closer to Stewart’s sources, the one-night stand Kristen had with director Rupert Sanders may have been exciting…
LONDON, ONTARIO–In a highly publicized press conference yesterday, Scooter Braun, manager of Canadian teen-pop idol Justin Bieber, revealed that the young star is seeking professional help for what he describes as “recurring, and almost debilitating, normal thoughts”. “Justin has had a serious relapse, but he is getting the help he needs,” said Braun. “Our team…
NEPTUNE CITY, NJ—Silver screen legend Jack Nicholson, best known for his performances in movies such as The Shining, Batman, and One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, was visiting his hometown in New Jersey when he got into a “misunderstanding” with a normal person named Hank (who reportedly makes 4,000 dollars a month and drives a…
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