*pic by Nicolas Suzor Forbes new power list of top college majors for 2013 features a new, though unsurprising, field of study: Taking videos and pictures of the cutest cats you can find and then posting them online in excess. This new category of videos and pictures, referred to as the Feline Arts in professional…
A new study was released last week detailing various online practices of users across our interconnected globe. Needless to say, some appalling facts have come to light. Apparently, the vast majority of web surfers suffer from something called lying. Basically, those who use internet slang as a form of communicating emotion are doing so superfluously,…
1. Set goals. This is probably the most important part in achieving them. 2. If you suck at something, give up. I know people say, “If at first you don’t succeed…” yada yada, but come on, do you want to be known as the guy or girl that succeeded at sucking? Just because you keep…
The CEO, CFO, COO, and CTO of Iron E-News Corp. is proud to announce that he has sold everything and become a majority shareholder in Tasteless Gum. “We’re pretty confident right now,” said the CEO. “We feel our money is in good hands and that we’re about to be on the top–what’s that part of…
Wife. Emotions. Job. Kids. God. Facial Expressions. Food. Music. Bills. Friends. Dog. TV. Stocks. Chores. Parties. Ethics. Grammar. Hanging out. Jokes. Like a beautiful game of tupperware Tetris, Marc Haffleflaffer separates and arranges his life into lovely little compartments. “You see,” Haffleflaffer observed. “most people only think they compartmentalize things but, in the end, it’s…
Polly Gonn, MIT class of 2012, recently updated her Facebook profile picture to one of her favorite mathematics symbols: less than. In doing so, she unwittingly unleashed a firestorm of heated comments, opinions, and questions the likes of which has not been seen since Rebecca Black’s “Friday” was posted on Youtube. “I honestly had no…
Art Feebly, brother of Mort Feebly, got up this morning (just like he always does), ate breakfast (just like he always does), and started talking to himself…just like he always does. Only this time, he answered back. And though we cannot reveal the method or means by which we obtained it, we can tell you…
Atlanta native Philicia Lancelcarrie, normally a confident and self-assured businesswoman, was having dinner with a few friends the other night when the dam holding up her world began to crack. They laughed. They ate. They drank. They talked about seemingly benign things. But then, the conversation dove into depths of existentialism that she wasn’t prepared…
His hair is as blue as the state in which he grew up and, by all accounts, as equally impressive. Jim Ballsinger–brother, son, lover, hootenanny coordinator–recently returned from his daily therapy session in seemingly high spirits. “Oh, that’s right, the interview thing,” said Jim, apparently caught off guard by our presence. ”No, it’s perfect timing.…
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