Media

Iron E-News Invests Everything in Tasteless Gum

April 17, 2013
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The CEO, CFO, COO, and CTO of Iron E-News Corp. is proud to announce that he has sold everything and become a majority shareholder in Tasteless Gum. “We’re pretty confident right now,” said the CEO. “We feel our money is in good hands and that we’re about to be on the top–what’s that part of…

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Math Nerd Makes “Less Than” Symbol Her Facebook Profile at Most Inopportune Time

April 3, 2013
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Math Nerd Makes “Less Than” Symbol Her Facebook Profile at Most Inopportune Time

Polly Gonn, MIT class of 2012, recently updated her Facebook profile picture to one of her favorite mathematics symbols: less than. In doing so, she unwittingly unleashed a firestorm of heated comments, opinions, and questions the likes of which has not been seen since Rebecca Black’s “Friday” was posted on Youtube. “I honestly had no…

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Aliens Discover “Satire” through Articles on Obama–Mistake it for Hero Worship

February 16, 2013
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Aliens Discover “Satire” through Articles on Obama–Mistake it for Hero Worship

Five thousand years into the future, an intelligent extra-terrestrial species called The Collective uncovered a solitary data storage chip amongst the rubble once known as Earth and took it back to their ship for examination. Though initially puzzled by the tiny archaic construction, they learned what it (a usb) was through their unified symbiotic brain…

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SNL Caught “Rounding Second” with Obama–World Shocked

January 27, 2013
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SNL Caught “Rounding Second” with Obama–World Shocked

The signs, though subtle and unseen by many, were always there.  The episode before last of the much loved, sketch comedy TV show only underscored the true reality of their relationship. After Seth Meyers, the Weekend Update news anchor, more than adequately roasted a few Republican politicians, he then began commenting on the president’s inauguration.…

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Report Confirms Fingers All You Need to Type on Keyboard

January 9, 2013
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The Institute of Neurological Research, located in Berkeley California, released a shocking new report on human brain function and development yesterday. Though initially seeking to gain further understanding as to how homo sapiens are able to perform complex tasks at high levels of intelligences (or how our brains work), they unwittingly made a discovery about…

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Iron E-News Reporter Recovers From Surgery to Remove Tongue from Cheek

December 28, 2012
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For the past few months, intrepid Iron E-News reporter Bev Jolt has been recovering in a local hospital from what doctors are officially describing as “disgusting”. Much like the old adage, “If you cross your eyes long enough they’ll stay that way,” Ms. Jolt failed to heed the even older adage, “If you keep your…

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The Queen Tweets Her Way through the Opening Ceremonies!

July 30, 2012
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The Queen Tweets Her Way through the Opening Ceremonies!

LONDON–Through a little investigative journalism here and a little bribe there, Iron E-News was able to obtain the royal jewel of news: The Queen’s Tweets. Unbeknownst to most of the world, her majesty has a secret Twitter account and, since 2009, has become an avid contributor under the codename Intrnt Hpstr. We have the exclusive…

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Onion Intern Fired for Suggesting Satire Article on Obama Actually Be Directed at Obama

July 27, 2012
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Onion Intern Fired for Suggesting Satire Article on Obama Actually Be Directed at Obama

CHICAGO–An intern for The Onion, a popular satirical newspaper based right here in the Windy City, was fired last week for violating the cardinal rule of media (yes, even satirical media). Apparently, the young “reporter” submitted an idea to his editor to actually satirize President Obama.  And no, he wasn’t kidding. “Seriously!” exclaimed the unbelieving…

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Rupert Murdoch Admits to Hacking Alexander Graham Bell’s Original Telephone

July 17, 2011
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Rupert Murdoch Admits to Hacking Alexander Graham Bell’s Original Telephone

LONDON—In a string of scandals longer than Weinergate or the London Bridge, media mogul Rupert Murdoch has now confessed to yet another case of privacy infringement. Apparently, 130 years ago, Murdoch hacked some of the first conversations between Alexander Bell and his assistant, Thomas Watson, but stopped not too long afterward out of sheer boredom.…

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Media Coverage of Will and Kate Post-Marriage: FAIL

June 23, 2011
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Media Coverage of Will and Kate Post-Marriage: FAIL

As anyone with a brain knows, less than two months ago, the earth was touched by heaven: Prince William of England and Kate Middleton were married—in what will undoubtedly become the most widely covered and watched event of the decade. And preceding that life-altering moment, for six blessed months the media gloriously saturated us with…

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Featured

Area Control Freak Reports OCD Under Control

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Don’t worry everybody–world-wide* acclaimed blogger and self-published publisher/editor/writer/artist, Mark Krotzchety (pronounced “Krotzchety”), wants you to know that he’s finally got his nagging compulsions under control.…

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