On March 27 of this year, scientists at the Applied Sciences division of Footile Enterprises confirmed that they have lost their newly developed, fully functioning invisibility cloak. This cloak, also termed “IC-Nothing”, took twelve years of research and experimenting to construct and, reportedly, was highly successful at concealing wearers. “This has been a huge shock…
A group of evolutionary naturalists, anthropologists, and biologists were injured yesterday in what police are officially calling “an unfortunate and unnecessary accident”. According to eyewitnesses, hundreds of members of the Royal Society went on their daily tree-trimming expedition and somehow, during the course of their work, ended up on the ground in a most precipitous …
Hawking: Spontaneous Creation is the Reason Something is Here Rather than Nothing. World-renowned physicist Stephen Hawking, best known for his accessible books on the fundamental questions we all face, recently published his latest findings on a cosmological concept he calls “spontaneous creation”. According to Hawking and many of his peers, this new evidence would not…
Men like Stephen Hawking have helped introduce us to Science all over again and men like Richard Dawkins have helped us learn to appreciate its grandness and wonder anew. They’ve taught us to embrace skepticism in our pursuit of truth and question everything (except Evolution, of course) on this road of scientific inquiry. And whenever…
Apple CEO Tim Cook, looking to go in another direction with the company, revealed his plans to reboot the very first PDA ever created: the human palm. He’s calling it OPP. A spokesman for the company asked the press in attendance if they were “down with OPP,” and strangely enough all of them echoed in…
ASPEN–In the midst of what was quickly becoming a very exciting time for modern physics, the team of scientists working at CERN, home of the Hadron super-collider in Geneva, have been forced to issue an unfortunate and very embarrassing correction. Apparently, the only thing that’s been discovered recently is an almost invisible dot under Dr.…
A new report released by the Television Scientists of America shows the often overlooked negative impact of reading on the fragile human brain and how it decreases its capacity to fully appreciate a wonder of the modern world: television (especially during the formative years of necessary Saturday morning cartoons). According to the study, television is…
Following the passing of beloved sci-fi writer Ray Bradbury, the genius behind such great works as Fahrenheit 451 and The Martian Chronicles, many feared there would remain a great void in the fictional universe impossible to fill. But with the release of his latest book, The Grand Design, it seems eminent physicist Stephen Hawking is…
A new study was published yesterday in the Journal of Food Science and Technology by a collaboration of food scientists on the dangers of better living conditions for animals who are used as a food resource. The article illustrates an alarming trend in the attitudes of poultry, pig, and cow and shows that they have…
Greg Chortleberger, a clever but wholly unknown armchair physicist, has recently dedicated his life to proving (or falsifying) one of the major aspects of Isaac Newton’s first law of inertia: Objects at rest tend to stay at rest until moved upon by an outside force. “I’ve basically been at rest for a long, long time…
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