Sports

Top Masters Headline: 14-Year-Old Guan Fades from Headlines

April 15, 2013
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Top Masters Headline: 14-Year-Old Guan Fades from Headlines

Fourteen year old rising golf star, TianLang Guan, continues to stay in the headlines even when he’s not in them. Over the past few days, the world has been treated to one of golf’s perennial events: The Masters.  And, at the same time, has witnessed a rare feat in Golfdom: someone has shared the spotlight…

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Miami Heat Winning Streak Ends–PBS Resumes Telethon to Raise Awareness for Regular Season

March 28, 2013
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Miami Heat Winning Streak Ends–PBS Resumes Telethon to Raise Awareness for Regular Season

Without realizing it, for the past month or so, the world was interested in the NBA’s regular season games.  And all of the credit goes to one team: The Miami Heat. In case you just came out of a coma, live in Antarctica, lost your short-term memory, or just came out of a coma, basketball’s…

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U.S. Men’s Basketball Beats Some Team Called Espana to Win Gold–Wonders What Happened to Spain

August 13, 2012
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U.S. Men’s Basketball Beats Some Team Called Espana to Win Gold–Wonders What Happened to Spain

In what was to be a highly contested gold medal match between two basketball powerhouses, Spain and the United States, turned out to be an epic battle between the American men and a completely random team that no one had ever heard of: Espana. The American team could not suppress their confusion as Espana took…

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American Olympic Badminton Team Longs to One Day be Disqualified Too

August 2, 2012
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American Olympic Badminton Team Longs to One Day be Disqualified Too

The American Badminton team narrowly escaped disqualification yesterday as four pairs from other countries were removed from the tournament for throwing matches. The decision was made after one pair from China, two from South Korea, and one from Indonesia were found guilty of ‘losing on purpose’ so as to avoid facing a more difficult opponent…

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Canada, Thinking its Winter, Accidentally Attends London Games

July 28, 2012
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Canada, Thinking its Winter, Accidentally Attends London Games

LONDON–The spectacular opening ceremonies of the 2012 London Olympiad got underway this morning and, for some reason, Canada was present. Apparently, the cold Northern country, in their eager anticipation for the winter Olympics, accidentally showed up at the stadium in full colors. It became a bit awkward when Chile was announced and the Canadians decided…

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Reaction: Penn State’s Image the Only Real Victim in the Wake of NCAA Sanctions

July 25, 2012
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Reaction: Penn State’s Image the Only Real Victim in the Wake of NCAA Sanctions

STATE COLLEGE–The mood around the historic Nittany Lion campus could only be described as one of disbelief yesterday morning as the NCAA handed out its sanctions, and in doing so, committed a heinous and unpardonable act against an innocent and defenseless reputation. According to eye witness reports, after the school’s hands were bound with a…

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Mount Olympus Forced to Change its Name to Mount Samsung in Honor of London 2012

July 18, 2012
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Mount Olympus Forced to Change its Name to Mount Samsung in Honor of London 2012

LONDON–The International Olympic Committee announced its plans yesterday to change the name of the historic site of the gods, previously known as Mount Olympus, to Mount Samsung in honor of the upcoming Olympic Games. Other famous names that have come under scrutiny are Nike (the Winged Victory statue will now be called Adidas) and God…

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Euro Cup 2012 Highlights Filled with Thrilling Misses and Unbelievable “Almosts”

June 19, 2012
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Euro Cup 2012 Highlights Filled with Thrilling Misses and Unbelievable “Almosts”

The 2012 European Cup, according to commentators and fans alike, is shaping up to be one of the most memorable soccer events in a long time. “In terms of highlight footage (no pun intended),” said one giddy ESPN broadcaster.  “There’s never been anything like it.  We probably have hours and hours of ‘oh-my-god-that-was-so-close’ moments.” And…

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Texas Towns to Learn Strange New Sport Using Wooden Bat and Small White Ball

October 21, 2011
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Texas Towns to Learn Strange New Sport Using Wooden Bat and Small White Ball

TEXAS–In Texas, the lights come out and shine on more than just Friday nights.  For football, to many, is 24/7 and is as natural as breathing.  In some towns it’s a part of every aspect of their daily lives and has become, in a very real sense, part of their story…and legend. One possible reasons…

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Unknown Man Arrested for Impersonating Lebron in NBA Finals

June 16, 2011
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Unknown Man Arrested for Impersonating Lebron in NBA Finals

MIAMI—A Dallas man was arrested yesterday after Miami police discovered that he had kidnapped and then impersonated Heat star Lebron James during the NBA Finals against the Mavericks earlier this month–in what has to be the wildest scheme ever to help the Mavs achieve basketball glory. Apparently it worked. Detectives who opened the case said…

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Featured

Area Control Freak Reports OCD Under Control

Don’t worry everybody–world-wide* acclaimed blogger and self-published publisher/editor/writer/artist, Mark Krotzchety (pronounced “Krotzchety”), wants you to know that he’s finally got his nagging compulsions under control.…

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