A couple days ago I got to see “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days,” which was pretty cool since it was at that super-cheap movie theater that plays movies that came out like before we had a black president. And I have to write a “film review” for a class (which is what my Com prof calls them, because I guess he’s allergic to the word “movie”) so I decided to write this review. And I thought it was a cool movie, and it was funny, and sad in places, but happy in the end. The only problem was, since I only got there a little late, like at the end of the 45 minutes of trailers, I had to sit right in the front row, since there are actually lots of people who’ll go to any movie as long as it’s cheap. I never sat there before, right in the front row I mean. It was one of those really big screens in a pretty small movie theater. I was sitting so close I could of spit coke on it. So it was a lot like when you sit in the dentist’s chair, with your neck way back, only I didn’t let that ruin the movie for me or affect this movie review. But I did get the whirlies a little.
Anyways, there was some interesting parts, not stuff that was part of the main plot but other things I noticed too. Stuff that’s good for society, or else bad. What I mean is, you can tell a lot from a movie about values and stuff like that. And movies can affect people. So I notice some little stuff that other people don’t notice when I go to the movies.
Like the actresses’ butts. I mean, it was pretty surprising, but they were pretty big—they stretched a pretty long way from side to side, more than you usually see in movie actresses. I thought this was cool. I don’t mean like bootylicious cool—it mean it was a good image of the female body. Because everybody knows Sarah Jessica Parker is too skinny, and so is Keera Nightly, so this movie was good, since it had women with rear-ends like normal women.
And even though it’s not a thing about being good for society, I was surprised to see how tall Matthew McConahee was. I mean he still is, but these days he plays burned-out druggies and stuff so maybe he shrunk. But in this movie, I mean, jeeze, he’s like six-eight or something. He’s like a building. Kind of like a white Shaq. He was the main guy in the movie, who makes a bet he can make Kate Hudson fall in love with him. But I had no idea he was so tall! So maybe in a way it is good for society, because the movie wasn’t prejudiced against tall people. Because all of the actors were really tall, now that I think of it. Even the short ones. Not as tall as Matthew McConnihy, though. Still, it’s good, since it made me think of that super tall basketball player, that Yao guy—and he’s even Chinese. So that’s not prejudiced.
But another good thing in the movie was this bump on this woman’s face. She’s one of Kate Hudson’s friends, and the movie wasn’t prejudiced toward her, because even though she was kind of dumpy-looking and Kate Hudson is gorgeous (except maybe just a little too wide in the butt), Kate Hudson was still friends with her. And at the beginning of the movie some guy dumped that woman, so she was always crying, but the beautiful women tried to make her feel better. And at the end, the guy came back—it was really romantic. And that bump on her face—it was so big I could see it. It was probably a zit or something, but you could see she put make-up over it, the way women do. I kept seeing that bump almost through the whole movie, even with the make-up over it. It was good, because real women get bumps on their faces. And they showed it. So she wasn’t being a sex-object or anything like that. The movie even showed some of that white deoderant stuff in Kate Hudson’s armpits. You had to look close, but you could see it.
It was cool to see how tall and wide New York City looks—the skyscrapers are humungous. And so are the bridges. And the regular buildings are really tall and wide too. And the street signs, and the mailboxes, and even those hot-dog seller carts. Even the trees—well, they don’t have a lot—but the trees they showed in the movie were really tall. It made you proud to be an American.
But the taxi cabs were a problem. And it surprised me, since most of the stuff in this movie was good and not prejudiced, or polluting. But there was a cool scene where Matthew McConohay had to get on his motorcycle and chase after Kate Hudson. (The people who write movies maybe have a book of how to write, like for romantic comedies it says the guy has to chase the girl in the end. I mean, he could of just called her—they both had these really long cell phones. But maybe that’s not true, because if he just called her there wouldn’t of been the cool motorcycle part). She was in a cab. Only he got all mixed up because there were so many cabs. But I noticed, looking at all those cabs, they’re like really long in New York City. They practically look like boxcars or something. So I guess in New York City they have like SUV-type cabs, which are really long. Or maybe they’re supposed to be like limos. And that’s bad because SUV’s use up a lot of gas. I think limos do too. And who needs a cab that long anyway? Matthew McConahy is really tall, so maybe it’d be good for him, because he could stretch out, but he has a motorcycle so it’s no problem. But New York City needs to change to regular-sized cabs. So they won’t use up gas and be too polluting. Of course it’s not the movie’s fault—they were just showing cabs for the scene where he chases her on his motorcycle.
So I guess it was a pretty good movie, and it had a lot of good details. It’s funny how movies can be kind of magical. Because after I left the theater and was driving home from the mall, everything seemed kind of gray and boring compared to the movie. And short too. And like, narrow.
But at least I didn’t have the whirlies.