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April 18, 2014

Tupperware Salesman Compartmentalizes Life, Offers New Book

Wife.  Emotions.  Job.  Kids.  God.  Facial Expressions.  Food.  Music.  Bills.  Friends.  Dog.  TV.  Stocks.  Chores.  Parties.  Ethics.  Grammar.  Hanging out.  Jokes.

Like a beautiful game of tupperware Tetris, Marc Haffleflaffer separates and arranges his life into lovely little compartments.

“You see,” Haffleflaffer observed.  “most people only think they compartmentalize things but, in the end, it’s just mashed potatoes and gravy, Bev, mashed potatoes and gravy.  Eventually, they’re gonna come together.”

Mr. Haffleflaffer has not only perfected the art of compartmentalization, he’s compiled his secrets and made them available to the public for just three easy payments of 29.95.  And, according to his website, if you order now he will throw in a free set of tiny tupperware that’s “perfect for that one piece of sushi you just couldn’t finish.”

The book is called Total Tupperware and it is quickly becoming an international bestseller.

“As I share in the first chapter, compartmentalizing starts in the mind AND in plastic containers; it’s like a plastic-mental-synergetic-arrangenator, if you will.  Basically, after purchasing my special life-compartments (which also double as regular tupperware) and placing them neatly in front of you, you “take” the different parts of your life and imagine them inside each container.”

“Just make sure they’re properly labeled or your wife might put last night’s squash in your emotions, and nobody wants that.  Am I right, Bev?  Hahaha.”

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