LONDON—In a string of scandals longer than Weinergate or the London Bridge, media mogul Rupert Murdoch has now confessed to yet another case of privacy infringement.
Apparently, 130 years ago, Murdoch hacked some of the first conversations between Alexander Bell and his assistant, Thomas Watson, but stopped not too long afterward out of sheer boredom.
“Even back in the 1880s,” Murdoch related to us, “information was power. That’s why I decided to get into the media industry, and eventually, the lust for raw information was what led me into more unacceptable media practices. Obviously, I started with Bell’s telephone because I imagined I’d get a few good stories out of it…boy was I mistaken!”
According to Murdoch, the first few calls were made by Bell to Watson asking him to come and help him fix the phone which they both didn’t realize was actually working. The next few ranged from Bell making fun of Watson’s mom to Watson telling Bell to “watch this” as he did a handstand or parkoured off the table.
When asked if charges were going to be brought against Mr. Murdoch, U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder said “it’s very unlikely, simply because it was over a century ago and Rupert is too good a friend to the state.”