The WHO (not the band) revealed at a press conference yesterday that they have yet to find a cure for an age-old malady: crazy. After spending the past month or so dealing with a new strain of bird flu (H5N9) in China, officials with the UN organization have admitted their attempts to corral a new…
Taylor Swift Exes: “You are never, ever, ever writing another break-up song!” (image: Hollywire) Taylor Swift has achieved fame, success, and respect with the many songs she carefully crafted to get back at her boyfriends. The poor subjects of her hit albums have been insulted, mocked, and blamed for Swift’s heartache. To the world, it…
On March 27 of this year, scientists at the Applied Sciences division of Footile Enterprises confirmed that they have lost their newly developed, fully functioning invisibility cloak. This cloak, also termed “IC-Nothing”, took twelve years of research and experimenting to construct and, reportedly, was highly successful at concealing wearers. “This has been a huge shock…
A group of evolutionary naturalists, anthropologists, and biologists were injured yesterday in what police are officially calling “an unfortunate and unnecessary accident”. According to eyewitnesses, hundreds of members of the Royal Society went on their daily tree-trimming expedition and somehow, during the course of their work, ended up on the ground in a most precipitous …
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