In what is being hailed as the most highly viewed TV moment of all time, the Rainbow came out of the cosmic closet yesterday and announced on the Ellen Show that she is, in fact, a heterosexual. For much of history, the inspiring optical phenomenon was assumed to be purely asexual. But then, since the…
Associated Press In a colorful press conference held at the White House a few days ago, press secretary/circus master Jay Carney lived up to his last name as scandals piled up like elephants in a circus ring or clowns in a clown car. From Benghazi to the IRS to killing American citizens without trial to…
*pic by Nicolas Suzor Forbes new power list of top college majors for 2013 features a new, though unsurprising, field of study: Taking videos and pictures of the cutest cats you can find and then posting them online in excess. This new category of videos and pictures, referred to as the Feline Arts in professional…
A new study was released last week detailing various online practices of users across our interconnected globe. Needless to say, some appalling facts have come to light. Apparently, the vast majority of web surfers suffer from something called lying. Basically, those who use internet slang as a form of communicating emotion are doing so superfluously,…
We’ve lived on this planet for thirty-five years now, and though we have easily adopted their mannerisms, assumed their practices, and assimilated their languages, we think it’s safe to say there are some things about humans that we will never understand – as sure as Rumyliak has three suns and Gorpin was a grifter. Lately,…
1. Set goals. This is probably the most important part in achieving them. 2. If you suck at something, give up. I know people say, “If at first you don’t succeed…” yada yada, but come on, do you want to be known as the guy or girl that succeeded at sucking? Just because you keep…
Wife. Emotions. Job. Kids. God. Facial Expressions. Food. Music. Bills. Friends. Dog. TV. Stocks. Chores. Parties. Ethics. Grammar. Hanging out. Jokes. Like a beautiful game of tupperware Tetris, Marc Haffleflaffer separates and arranges his life into lovely little compartments. “You see,” Haffleflaffer observed. “most people only think they compartmentalize things but, in the end, it’s…
Fourteen year old rising golf star, TianLang Guan, continues to stay in the headlines even when he’s not in them. Over the past few days, the world has been treated to one of golf’s perennial events: The Masters. And, at the same time, has witnessed a rare feat in Golfdom: someone has shared the spotlight…
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